fkuii

first of all, alhamdulillahi rabbal 'alamin I got accepted in medical faculty in UII (Universitas Islam Indonesia). I got accepted in just one test, although I got the least rank. haha..
I still can't believe it, now I'm no longer status unknown anymore. hahaha
but still, there's some thoughts in whether I will take it or not.

first, I have to wear jilbab. It's not like I hate wearing it, but I don't feel ready yet. My pious isn't good enough, I don't consider my self as a good muslimah yet. Wearing jilbab feels like lying to others and myself.

second, do I really interested in medical?
answer is yes, I do.
do I have capability of being a doctor?
answer is I dunno.
it feels like my dilemma won't meet its ending. it's like never ending story, with a flat plot and a boring scenes.

third,
it feels like it's great being a doctor, and I have responsibility to take care of my grandfather. but... how about my dream of being a director?
can't I be a director? =X


Allah, please show the right way for me. T_T