Today...

Physic exam today.
Arrrgghhhh....
in the morning also! >.<
I prayed a lot, plea for God's kindness so I can get a good mark.
But damn,
ppl in my class r totally noisy!
It feels like they have two mouth each, and their voices twice louder than mine!
Grrr....

It made me couldn't think clearly.
I forgot all the formulas I've been memorized last night.
So I did my exam as good as I can (which means, just answer, forget the mark u'll get)

And,
wew,
I just got 60!!
Yes, 60 for my hardwork during the night before.
I almost cry, sad and disappointed, but I try to be big hearted.

I asked Lisa and Tania, how much score they got.
Both of them got 80! *claps*
I almost thought, "how unfair life is. I studied and only got 60. Lisa didn't study but she got 80!"
But once again, I tried to be a fair, big hearted gurl.

I borrowed Lisa's exam to see where're my mistakes lied.
And suddenly,
I realized one thing : On Lisa's paper, no 3 is correct. My answer is same like her, but mine is wrong.
So I asked the teacher about this,
and yippee... he correct my answer too!
hahaha
But I only got 75, since my answer at number 4 is wrong a bit.. =X
huhuhu


after the 1st break,
should be there's english mini test.
But the teacher chat (or HAVE TO talk?!) with the principal in a very very long time.
So she canceled the test.
ckckckck.... =.="

And finally,
the chem homework!!
I did it until I got stressed out, and tadaaa....
almost all of my answers were wrong!!
Wrong on the calculation, not the formulas.
I wonder, how 3 digits decimal beside coma (example: 0, 001) could made a very different result.
Gosh!
I'm scared I'm not good enough to pass the chem engineering course. >_<


jaa,,
got to be optimist!!
Isshou ni ganbarou na!! ^^

yesterday :

Wake up at 9, and then I went to Lisa's home at 11.
I have girls' day out yesterday with Lisa (as host), Laura and Mercy.
chat, gossip, laugh, snacks and narcissism fill the day.
And then we went to the mall for lunch, which unfortunately, I couldn't finish mine.
It's because my stomach ill due to "I-have-duty-to-p***"
hahaha


And then they made me went home for 'duty' and then back again just for.... KARAOKE BOX!
yup! ^^
We did it.
And hey, who said that our voices can't be heard from outside?
It was clearly and loudly could be hear from outside.
I proved it by myself, I heard my friends sang like crazy.
With voices that couldn't be categorized as 'beautiful', they more likely scream than sing.
hahaha =P
But I sang worse than that.
So, big applause for Lisa, Mercy and Laura for your 'beautiful voices'.. =P

After a day out,
my parents asked me to visit my auntie.
Well, she's my mother's big sis, I called her as budhe.
Actually, I have physic exam on the next day, so I want to study.
But yeah, wat can I say?
Mom said my grandpa missed me and wanted to meet me and sisters.

So yeah,
we went to hospital.
My auntie condition was... uh, you can said it's terrible.
Her neck is broken, I guess.
She said she can't even move her head, and she looked so weak.
Well, just imagined what would happened if you fell down from stairs and your neck hit the stairs?

After back from hospital,
I studied physic while waiting for the answer of my chem homework, done by Diaz and his private teacher =P
Seriously, actually he's a kind person.
At about 11.30pm he text me the answer of my 2nd question,
meanwhile I was already sleepy and 5-seconds-to-deep-sleep,
he still studied!!! >_<

Wat a nice friend.

But he didn't want to explain it to me, how he got the '100,24' answer...
No wonder,
since the last time I asked him.
He explained to me and I didn't understand. hahaha... xP

ok,
prepare for tomorrow..
physic exam,
english mini-test,
chem homework.
arrrrgghh.... >_<

today...
He just gave me a comment,
said thanks for my wish for his bday.
I smiled when I read his comment, as usual.
I am happy, coz he's not like I think, he appreciated it.
Even though my pic is really bad..

But yeah,
that's it.
Nothing more. Just happy.
No love, no like, no interest.
Yep, I'm starting to look him as ONLY friend.
Coz relationship stronger than this kind of monkey love is just friend =)
Hahaha.

Thx God,
you made me stronger every day =)

Mou Kimi ga Inai

woke up late,
plus there were every single things who made me prepared slower; such as my skirt was lost etc.

when I got to school,
it was already late.
The flag ceremony has begun, so I sneaked up among other students. haha.


Lisa showed me her photo with similar style as ****'s ex gf's (or nu gf?!) style.
That reminds me, I'd wanna say goodbye forever.. =X
I dunno, they kept remind me about him.
Make it hard to forget T_T
huhuhu

crap you guys! =P


ah, forget him, honey!
he isn't here anymore.
In fact, he never been here!!


~ isshou koto wasuretai
konna ni mo setsunai nara
namida afure hitomi tojireba
ima demo kimi no egao
ima demo kimi no kaori
konna ni mo daisuki datta nante ~

(Mou Kimi ga Inai - Funky Monkey Babys)

translate :
i wanna forget the time we're together,
if this feeling burst
tears dropping and I close my eyes
Until now, your smiling face
Until now, your scent
I still like it

(You weren't Here Anymore - Funky Monkey Babys)

I have to forget him.
Forget about love.
All I have to do now is study.
yeah,

I am much much stupider than anyone else in class.. (not really seh! =P)
So I've got to study hard if I want to have a good mark.

Jaaa... ganbarou na!! ^^

Chem Engineering?!?

physic exam is canceled!!

yippiee.... ^^

so I have time to blogging. hahaha

this afternoon,
mom asked me to accompany her to CTC with my lil sis.
Auntie Dewi, my mom's relation, promised us to grill delicious fish yesterday.
So we're going to go about 3 pm when this event happened.

Alya didn't want to wear her clothes,
my mom persuade her to wear it, calmly at first,
but her patience getting over so she scold my lil sis and slap her leg.
Alya, of course, crying...


I can't do anything.
I can't blame my mom, nor my sister.

All I can do is promising to myself,
that IF I have children, I won't hit them.
I wish I never going to give physical punishment.

so, we're eating at CTC.
grilled fish, although I don't know what kind of fish is it. hahaha
I eat slowly, since I already had one before went there.. =P

~btw, today I'm feeling so damn creative!! :P
Got lots of idea, but of course I can't make it true, because of the impossible condition. =X

Auntie Dewi and Uncle Yudi told us about their succession opening food stall there.
Yeah, I admitted it, their story is true (there's only a few food stall also)
But I don't think we should tell everyone about this all the time.
Too much , I think =X
[ps: sorry u guys, I ain't offense you, just telling my thought =) ]

another story today :

as when my parents, Alya and I in the way back home from Mitra Hospital (visiting my mom's big sis), papa asked me if I already choosed course and university I want.

Papa : "Tita, next year u're going college rite! Already choose ur dream course?"
Me : "Yup."
Papa : "Wat is it? Tell me!"
Me : "Erm, There are three courses I want. First is Japanese literature. Second is cinematograph..."
Papa : "Ohh.. And the last one?"
Me : "Chemical engineering."
Papa : *check his hearing* "Chem engineering?!"
Me : "Yup."
Papa : "At ITB?!"
Me : "Wew, I don't think so. Rumour said from 1000 person, only 100 could pass..."
Mama : "It's okay. When u're having exam to got into Lab School, it was more than 1000 participants also. And you passed!!"

I keep silent and think.
Is it true?
Is it true that I am one of the lucky students who got into Lab School?! hahaha.
I don't study much when I took that test.

But I guess it is much different than the labschool's test. =X
way harder of course.
got to extra study until crazy!! >_<>I wish I could make my parents' dream come true.

I beg you, Allah... =X


ps : anyone knows what kind of job I could apply if I take that chem engineering??
wakakakakak.
stupid me, I even don't know what I want to be. xP

irreplaceable... =)

yesterday's thought :

11 in the morning.
my mom left me with my lil sis, Alya, sleeping on her room.
I got to take care of her.

Suddenly, after about 15 minutes my mom left, Alya wakes up.
She cried, looked for my mom.
Her tears dropped, it's like she'll never meet her beloved mother forever..
Cried loud and desperate.

I hugged her, rubbed his back gently,
try to calm her.
I try to make her attention changed, from 'my-mom's-gone' to 'look-whatever-made-you-happy-there'
but it didn't work. [of course, maybe I'm not a good baby caretaker >.<]

the maid who worked in my house also try to calm her, but it didn't work also.

All she wanted is her mom (mine also)

I realized,
how mother's place is irreplaceable .
For a child, especially toddler n babies, mother is everything.
I felt a bit sad, since I can't do anything to her..

I can't take my mother's place..

But also feel nice,
imagined if I have children later (if I married years later),
and they need me so much, that my place in their heart is irreplaceable.
How nice is it?

I almost dropped my tears just because thought about these.

So I called my mom, said that there's someone needed her so that keep crying..
And my mom came home, with a speed of light,
and hug my sis.


How nice is it?? =)


I want to have a baby too someday xD

ps: I love you too, mom.
And your place in my heart is also irreplaceable :)


oh, 1 more thing I thought :

I wanna be strong!
strong enough to protect my siblings, my parents, my friends, my kid n husband (it's future daydreaming, okay!)

maybe not now,
I know I still a weak person,
can't protect everybody,
but someday,
I wanna be strong .
Wait for me, you guys! =)

Sunday Morning

.
.
my alarm rang n rang this morning,
I tried to turn it off without open my eyes,
I repeated this for about 5 times maybe, until finally it really turned off [not snoozed].

suddenly-still half sleeping-i remember.
Today is July 27th : His Bday.

He is the man I like at the first sight..
..the man whose name I like so much [coz it's like Japanese nd it was like my alias name I used to use years ago], and the man that made me learned english (again)..

I feel sad n mellow, coz I remember I wanted to give him a special birthday greeting,
made by me :
background is sands [his name for me means 'sea'], and then I wrote happy bday to 'xxxxx' [his name] by photoshop.
But it turned so 'common' like a 1st year primary school student made..
not cool at all!! >_<

but i have no idea, nor the spirit to make the new one..
But I want to make it special,
since I wanna say goodbye forever to this unrequited love..

*ps: his friend said he's wooing another girl! damn... T^T

I dunno wat to do,
I just feel sad.

Three months ago since the first time I knew him :

~He's the friend of my friend,
I saw him at my friend's fs.
Then he added me up..
I give first comment to his fs [his new fs exactly, coz a week ago I've just knew that he's already have a friendster before this acc!!]
nd then we started to give comments each other.. ~

Until now,
if I remember how carefully I answer wat he asked n got panicked if I think I answer wrong, I wanna laugh.. =)


ahh...

wat shouLd I do?? T~T

I won't cry, coz I should happy if he's happy with his girl.
Maybe he's not my destinied man, it's ok.
I've never thought for having relationship with him also.. =)


just wanna say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU

may God give his blesses to you during ur life.
U're 17 yrs old now, be more mature okay? =)



ps : whatever going to happen, whatever u think about me,
even if u hate me also,
u're still my friend =)

today..

not a special day anyway... =)

i learned program language : basis 10, 2, 8 and 16
at first i was so damn confused when it comes to conversion..
but at the end i finally understand how to convert basis 10's code to basis 2.
hahaha

i do believe : everything is possible if you keep trying and never give up xD
hahaha


today..

i help my friend, grace, rewrite her chemical note =)
it's fun, really..
but she's afraid that i'm getting thinner because of this [ha! whatever i do, i'll never get fat! so it did nothing to me =P]

not only rewrite the notes,,
i also do her homework
hahaha

like an idiot, huh?!
not really, i think..

there's reasons why i helped her:
1. Her notes is... a mess!!
2. She hardly understand the lesson,, so it's better for me to put notes how to solve the question, so she can study better =)
3. I'm planning to do my own chemical homework, but my notebook got dirty easily if I erased too much =X
And too small also,, so i prefer doing MY HOMEWORK on HER NOTES.
wakakakakaka .
baka is it? =P

i finished the chem,, but forgot my biology task
hahaha
damn,, i can't understand wat should i answer all dat question...
i guess i'll copy (aka nyontek! xP) my friend's answer..
hahaha


oh yeah,,
i'm worrying about tomorrow..
should be i'm going with Lisa, GRace nd Tania to watch Batman : The Dark Knight
but today they have bad news..

Tania: "Sorry can't go tomorrow. I have to go to Bogor."
Grace: "Ta, my mother didn't give her permit. She said I'm already at the last year. When it comes to holiday i should stayed at home."

Lisa make it worse..
We planning to watch movie,, just the two of us--since the other two can't go.
But suddenly she texted me, said "Sorry. I'm queuing for Batman's ticket. Forget that I'll go with u tomorrow..."
arrgghh....


wat could make it worse again? =X

oh yeah,,
i ask diaz how to change blog's skin.
and he ask his friends named zaid [mirrored name of his, think i should search for friend who have mirrored name of mine too. but wat will it could be? atit? ahtilat?=.="]
and he say to zaid that he probably will have trouble talk to me, coz my english is below the par...!! (anw, this isn't exactly wat he said, just the point)

woohoo!!

really, dat boy..
if i could, i wanna whack him..
huhh... >.<


notes :
just now i know wat is d meaning of "wooing"..
*sigh*

broken heart . T^T

yesterday...

hmm...

actually this isn't the bad day anyway...

YESTERDAY was the bad day!!

first of all, my friend sent me message on the previous day, said that something fun will happen to me on the next day...

and ha!
some really "funny" things did happen to me!! x(


i got sore-throat. plus fever after i got home.
nd then,, laid down on my bed-without any strength-i was signing in my msn
see,, (again) only diaz who had online >.<

so, better than doing nothing, i chat with him..

seriously,,
it's lame!
chat via hp is... suck!! >.<

things got more terrible when he (diaz of course) said that PROBABLY (it means, 90% yes i said the truth..) he can't visit cikarang nd give my novel.
so did with me,, i can't give his novels i borrowed before... =X

PS: well, actually i haven't told him yet that one of his is missing xD
hopefully he won't read this during his life,, coz i'm going dead if it happened! =X


so,, after about a half hour (or an hour maybe?!) i chatted with him, i decided to off.
coz u know,, my fever getting higher when discussed with him.
moral lesson i could take : NEVER CHAT WITH DIAZ WHEN U ARE SICK!! IT MAKES UR DISEASE WORSE!!! x(


i looked into the mirror,, and got surprised when i saw my face
*gasp*
my face was red! cheeks nd nose only...!!
it's like drunken people's face!!
Oh God... T^T


notes for dovery : NEVER, NEVER, NEVER AGAIN SAID SOMETHING FUN GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN!!!
it brings bad luck to me! x(

btw,, Happy Birthday to Gunaedi,, my friend,, my classmate, etc.. =)