along the night, my mind wanders off.
Maybe it because I just finished watching 'The Lovely Bones', so I knew how it feels to lose somebody, to love somebody you can't have back, to learn to let go, to keep loving although the one we loved has gone.
Maybe it because I'm the only one person who left awaken at this time, and I feel lonely. I miss the feeling to be loved, to have a really close friend.
Maybe it because May 7th is my mum's birthday and suddenly I miss her so.
Maybe it because today is the announcement of SIMAK-UI, and since Diaz's little sister enrolled I feel nervous too. Maybe I shared the same connection like I had between me and her brother two years ago.
Maybe I miss my senior, Ridho, Fauzi, my ex-boyfriend, Salman, and the one I can't have, you-know-who?
Or maybe I am simply being distressed by this resume task and other thing I've got to do?
I don't know.
But I know I miss you, my blog. I miss the moments I shared my feelings to you.
And sometimes I'll re-read my writings and cried or smiled while recalled those memories.
Time sure goes by. We can't stop it.
But why can't I be happy by all of these gift God has given to me?
I need somebody to be loved and who loved me sincerely.
I'm tired with my 'going-nowhere' relationship with Fauzi. Why don't we make it real? Why don't we try to build our relationship?
Why don't my crush respond me back?
Why do I never satisfied?
Why do I such a loser?
I hate myself. I HAVE TO CHANGE.
NOW.
And thus, I shall end this monologue.
