Saturday, December 20, 2008

Saturday Story

I went out with my friends today. Our group today consist of me, Boim, Laura, Andrew, Febby, and Gun.
We went to Taman Anggrek Mall, Binus University and again, Plaza Semanggi.

@ mta, I've been pushed to join ice skate, in order to make Febby and Andrew getting closer. XD
At the beginning, I was afraid to try it since it was my first time.
But surprisingly, I can skate on ice!^^
It's almost like playing in-line skate, haha.

Then we went to trial class at binus. Which was... not interesting.
Then we went eat at plaza semanggi and saw a lot of cosplayers. O.o



And when we're about to went home, I separated with them all.
And when I was walking alone, I recalled my memories with him.




I miss him.
I miss his voice.
I miss his laugh.
I miss his story about his life.
I miss our lame jokes.
I miss our unimportant debate.
I miss our fight days.
I miss my moments with him.


aitakatta.


Then, why always I be left behind?
He's a mature, potential, smart guy already while I'm still an immature, naive, labil and stupid girl.


I have to move forward, but each time I step on my path, I always look back and look to his path.
And it made me going nowhere.
I want to meet him again but I want to choose my own path.
I know IF I follow him, I'll end up bad. And he won't be good having me around as junior/friend.


I dunno what to do. I'll just keep walk on, I guess.
In my own path, of course.


anw, thx to Quentin for chatting with me, talking about manga and anime.
Sorry if I made u confused. lol
But u sure have my night brighter. =P






KUNANG-KUNANG
song and lyric by Krista Band.



melihat laut di hadapan
bintang di angkasa
di pandangan kulihat indahnya kunang-kunang.

Tak kusangka bisa menebak hati
Kurasa ingin melayang
Terbang bersama kunang-kunang.


Reff:
akankah diri dia sedang merinduku jauh di sana?
mungkinkah semua anganku kan terbalas
bersama indahnya malam...


bridge:
tapi kuyakin yang indah
senyuman bulan...
tapi aku tetap gundah...



translate:
looking to the sea under the starry night sky
in my sight, I see fireflies.

I don't realize my heart,
I wanna fly
Fly with the fireflies.

Will he be missing me right now?
Will my dreams come true as the beautiful night come...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

the journey starts today.

pff...
I'm on holiday rite now, (actually, I make my own holiday. =P) and I have decided to 'homeschooling' right now.

Coz, I realized I'm not smarter than my other friends. The competition standard is high.
So, if I don't start studying from now, I'll be left behind.


So here's my time schedule for 3 weeks:
week 1:
Dec 16 - Dec 19 ~ Chemistry.
Dec 20 ~ Trial Class @ binus, buy the form for the 2nd enrollment test.

week 2:
Dec 22 - Dec 27 ~ Basic Mathematics
*I planned to take a job, again, whether it's part time or not. From Dec 22 to Jan 5.

week 3:
Dec 29 - Jan 4 ~ Physics



And here's the registration and enrollment tests' schedule (supposedly it have been fixed dy) :
SIMAK UI =
Online registration ~ Jan 19 - Feb 22
Enrollment Test ~ March 1st, 2009.
Announcement ~ April 1st, 2009

UTUL UGM =
Registration ~ Jan 21 - March 24
Enrollment test ~ ??

Unpad
Form buyable period ~ Jan 14 - May 7
Form registration ~ May 14 - May 22
Enrollment test ~ June 7, 2009.
Announcement ~ June 25, 2009.

IPB? It still unknown.
But it supposed to be on July or August.


have to study for those tests.
ganbarimasu!!


Sometimes, I feel a burden on my back when I study.
My friends at class, they don't study as crazy as me yet they're better than me.
And also, almost all of my friends already got accepted in private university nd here I am, applied for nowhere, aiming too high for state university.
Sometimes I felt my burden twice heavier than them all.


But then, I realized.
Everyone has their own choice, their own path of life.
And this is my path I've chosen. So I better enjoy my own choice.

And who says I'm alone?
I've got friends who also aimed high to get into state university.
UI: Jerry, Calvin, Febby, Henza, Boim.
IPB: Febby, Luthfi.
UGM: Annas.

and there are more outside who aimed as high as us, even higher.

The questions that will make us different are just: 'How well you've been studying your subjects' and 'How ready you are to take this chance?'

Those are questions that I have to answer by myself. :)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

dream...

Last night, I was unable to sleep. So I turned my walkman feature in my hp on and (finally) slept after listened to 44 songs.
Started with Sadis by Afgan and was ended by Apakah Ini Cinta by Ken-A-Rock. :)


So, as people slept, people would usually have a dream during their bedtime.
So did I.


Here's my dream:
I dreamt, I was in the first semester in grade 12. (In fact, semester 1 was over.)
Then my mum told me to transfer school, from Karya Iman to Labschool. (the school where I should be schooling at, but then refused that)
But in this dream, it's not Labschool kebayoran, but rawamangun.
In a short way, I got into a public transportation called 'angkot' to go to Rawamangun. (in real life, u can't go there just by angkot from my place. Coz it's in Jakarta!)
There, I met him. Sitting in the front seat.
He was surprised to see me (I guess he didn't expect to meet me yea?) and got more surprised when I said I want to go to Rawamangun.
There, I know from him that he wanted to go there also. But he didn't tell me exactly WHERE he go.
So I guessed, he wanted to go to his 'kost'. And yep, I was rite!^^

He told me his kost's name (I forget its name) but surprisingly, I knew that place.
I could describe it well and he agreed with my describe. I remember I mentioned my aunt lived there too and looks like I'll be living there too IF I got accepted in Labschool.

The next thing I know was I rounded my arms around his neck, through the front chair.
Not choking him, but kinda hugging him.
wth!!


I didn't know anything, I'm innocent! I can't control my own dream, u noe?


ok, back to the story.
After chat for a while, finally we went to the kost.
There, I met some of his friends.
I dunno why but I kept beside him and sometimes hugged him or he 'piggy back' me on his back. And we joke n laugh together. As friend of course.
pff...ok I noe this is nonsense.
Then came his friend who (looks like) have a crush on him.
She put her head on his shoulder and they embrace each other.

So, since I have no activity, I went look around the place. And yeah, I found it's haunted. ==a
And lots of suicide case *gasp*
Since I was scared, I decided to sleep in my mother's house.
In the middle of my the journey, I met 'abi'!!^^

He was sitting and smoking, enjoying the afternoon.
I asked 'abi'(Salman's father) how is Salman. Where do he take college now.
And he answered "He's already graduate, now he's working."

Unbelieveable!
4 years ago I heard he just got into high school and now he's graduated already?? Isn't it to fast? =X

anw, Salman is my first friend when I lived in my old house.
And also my first love. hahahaha

ok, the story ends here.


Well, actually this is not the first time he appeared in my dream.
Everytime when I beside him, I feel comfort, and safe. Either in dream or in reality.
Maybe because he's fat and I'm not? So he's like a comfy sofa to me? haha.
I dunno. Really.

But talking to him, is always my pleasure.
Do I'm in love? I guess the answer is no. :)
If yes, I should be jealous when he's together with his crush.

He is my bestfriend, I used to think him as my big brother (although I'm older than him), my rival, my catfighting partner, my teacher of life, or a friend that always can give me good advice.

Well, actually I kinda miss our old days. The day when we're still in primary. The day when he's striving hard to get into medical faculty.
Now, he's grown up already.
And here I am, alone. Still a teenager that haven't decided yet what I really want.

I kinda lost him, although I knew it already. He's still there.
Willing to give me advice if I need one. =)

I guess I have to think about what I really want to do once again.
Until then, farewell. =)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

time capsule

i'm stil suffering my illnessess: cough, fever, influenza.
but I won't cry over it. Let's move on.


Today, I dig up the bookshelf at the middle of my room.
And I found my old notebook!!!

natsukashiina...
here's the content, it's about what I used to believed in:

RULES FOR MYSELF
Chapter 1: Study @ school
1. I can't get good marks by copying others' answers.
2. Never copycatting others' work
3. Good mark isn't a must but I have to work hard to get it.
And if I failed, there's must be a regret that made me better.
4. I may not like the teacher but I can't hate the study.
5. No matter how stupid I am in a study, I musn't hate it.
I have to study again n again until fully understand.
6. Must increase my knowledge. Open up my mind nd point of view.


Chapter 2: Religion
1. Like everyone else, I may think that what I believed in is the best in world.
But it doesn't mean I can push somebody to believe in wat I believed. *remember Al-Quraisy!*
2. For me, Islam is already the best.
But I can n have to study abt other relìgion.
3. I must not do what God has forbade us. Especially just because of LIFESTYLE.
4. However, I can't n musn't be an atheis or went 'murtad'


Chapter 3: Sociality
1. I must not chose friends, especially just bcoz of personality, physically, n money. (unless he/she really pissed me off n unuseful human, which is mean nobody.)
2. If I hate somebody, don't curse. Just re-evaluate myself: do I really better than her/him?
If yes, well be proud of yourself.
If no, well then why u hate her/him?
3. I'm a shy person. I don't have to smile n say hi to everyone. But at least show it by attitude that I respect them.
Don't be a NATO person. Ppl like that is nothing!
4. Never really listen to what other's said till I noe the truth.
N I shouldn't follow trend that I haven't know the importance of it yet.
JUST BE YOURSELF.


Chapter 4: Past, Present, Future
PAST
1. No matter how painful, how embarassed, how sad or how happy I am in the past, I will never forget that.
2. We lived by learning our mistakes in the past.
3. No matter what kind of past we have, someday it'll make us miss the old days. :)
PRESENT
1. Do whatever that can be done today.
2. Try to do this:
"ibadahlah seperti kamu akan mati esok hari dan bekerjalah seperti kamu hidup selamanya"
FUTURE
1. I can be what I want to be, as long I have 'will', 'talent', 'hardwork', 'knowledge'.
2. I must have my own vision of life.
And it has to match my personality.

So far my ambition is:
a. film director
b. script writer
c. novelist
d. psychologist
e. veterinary
f. volunteer
g. 'ahli filsafat'??!
h. anime maker
i. song writer
j. game maker
k. web designer
l. computer programmer
m. literature expert (great poetry maybe?)

my hidden obsession:
a. Being a psycho! woohoo!!
b. Being a free hippies.

3. If I have succeed already, I won't forget my parents and family. Friends also. :)


Chapter 5: Love
1. I am a loyal person but once I get hurt I'll hurt even harder.
The fact is I ALWAYS THINK MY LOVER'S HAPPINESS INSTEAD OF MINE. =X
2. Once I loved somebody I won't and I can't like other people other than him.
3. I shouldn't love a boy by his look.



Well, that's it.
I really forget about this book and when I read it, I laugh yet questioning the rules.
Did I really have done them all?


I guess the answer is... NO, not yet.
The 'present' part, I still can't do it until this day.
And I can't believe all my ambitions were, especially the f, g, and m. hahaha
They're so not me!
Or Tita in d past know herself better than Tita in present?
Or I've changed?


that's why I kinda hate this phase: from a child to a grown up.
I'll comment about my 'previous' ambitions later.



Anyway, this is one of my reason for blogging.
Each time I wrote, it's like I am sending a piece of postcard to the future.
The postcards kinda express how was my condition, what happened in the past, and it's full of memories.

so maybe later on, I could read my 'pieces of postcards' n have a nostalgic time, take a lesson from my past and surely move forward. :)


that is why I named this blog as pieces of ehagaki. =D
*ehagaki: postcard with picture on it.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Sick, sick, sick.

I'm ill.
As usual~6 monthly sickness~sore-throat strikes back.
With dry cough.


And as usual too, I want some loving care nd shrimp bruschetta. I don't noe why but everytime I'm feeling unhealthy, I want to eat shrimp. Boiled or steamed, not fried.
So I asked my mom to buy me one from Pizza Hut. Apparently she get her coldnwettemperature-allergic strikes n not really in mood to go outside.
So she asks me to call 108 for asking Pizza's number n call for delivery.
I am, u noe, extremely sensitive especially when I get sick.

how could She don't treat me well when I am sick? Should I take care of my self when I am sick like this?! How poor I am.

I almost cry.
But I try to be mature enough. It's so childish to crying over d small stuff like this.

But surprisingly, when I already called the pizza nd get down to eat my lunch-and also my breakfast (fortunately it's soup with BIG shrimp :D), I catch my mom is calling. For Pizza hut!!
SHE DO CARE ABOUT ME!! xD
I'm happy, but quickly I tell her dat I already ordered.


Nd btw, just now I remembered that someone ever told me: 'sickness that we suffer is one of the ways to erase our sins.'
If that's true, well I hope this will erase much enough my sins...

Anw, Fia and Fauziah did visit me today.
Their purpose was actually to return my DVDs nd borrow some more.
But they saw me in bed, like a post-givingbirth mother, covered with bed cover. haha
So they also blessed me get well soon. :)


Ah, I need my Edward.
I am reading 'twilight' now nd I fall in love with Edward's attitude.
I wish he will do the same thing like Edward's did to me.
Let God be the only one who really knows who he is.
Coz I don't really noe who I mean too. haha

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

birthday party (again)

Not mine. It's Fia's. Yesterday was her birthday but due to national holiday, she hold a party today.
Well, not really a party sehh... Just eating together at her home.


But I think I should write from the beginning. :)

At the morning, I met Tyo ('brother') nd he said sorry for not replied my text.
Then I saw Berry,, so I greeted him happy birthday nd he thanked me n air-hi5 me... Wat's made me confused was my heart beat so fast when I greet him.
It's not like I still have crush on him... (yea, he broke ma heart badly last year)
But why dis heart??? *confused*

ok, move on. After school, since I have no remedial today, I watched MBA with Laura n Boim @cinema.
There are lots of high schooler from public school who also watched dis.
They r so.... ANNOYING!! Noisy!
It's like they came from village. Norak! =X

The movie, MBA or Married By 'Accident' was actually gross and nasty.
But 'Sarah Sechan' made dis a bit funny.


After dat, we met Grace n accompanied her to eat @KFC.
There I saw a guy whose hair looked like Diaz!
I tried to recognize him nd I ended up stared @ him.lol
Not only hair but also d eyes, nose and lips.
I wonder if he's really him. haha
He stared @me too n I guess we both staring each other. haha
But @ d end, I think it's not him. :P
Was I being haunted by him or really his face is too common? =P *no offense*

After that I went home nd chatted a while with Suren. He just laughed when I told d story. -_-'
Then I took a shower nd went to Fia's house.
We had a lot of fun, especially with d XII SOCIAL boys.
They're funny. N scary too when eat.
They grabbed food like they never eat for a week. haha
Boy was d funniest..
He took almost all d fried banana nd end with stomachache.
He wanted to go to bathroom but shy. lol


Well, I guess I have to end this since my tutor is already come.
I'm blo99ing using hp too! haha

Monday, December 08, 2008

hari raya Idul Adha

well, nothing special today.
We just go to the mosque to shalat Ied, and then go home.
Our car is being rented, so the whole family have to walk to mosque and then back to home again. ==a

oh yeah, I forgot to write about the ceremony on the "Teacher's Day", the day which I have to be the conductor. =X
The choir was the Jr. High Students. I have to conduct them singing, although I even didn't know the national song we have to sing. hahaha
The song titled as "Terima Kasih Guruku" (Thank you My Teacher), I did know the song but I didn't really know the lyric.
So I conduct them with a confused face *even there's one of the boys who laughed at me while singing and another was checking whether I was right or not* =.="
And when it wasn't my turn, I often look at my right--to the primary school students' line--and stare at 'mini' diaz that stood at front line.

HAHAHAHA

seriously, he's really looked like him when we're still in primary. Only taller and thinner. The way he stood, the way he talked, the way he smiled, and the way he dress (pants until the tummy? lol), it's all same!


when it's time for us to listened to the "advice" from the ceremony holder (this time, he's from the Cikarang Education Department), he talked a long way and it seems that he's so happy dat he won't stop. The point of his speech was only "thanks for invite me. I'm really happy." ==a


oh ya, in class, my classmates scolded me and laughed me because the way I walked at the ceremony. They said I walked like models in catwalk meanwhile my hand act like the soldier when walk. >_<


pff,, got to go. my aunt gonna take the laptop for a week. >.<

Saturday, December 06, 2008

fun nd tiring saturday

yeay!
I got my laptop back!!! xD
but only for 3 days, because my aunt will borrow it for a week for her training... >_<

so let's blogging fast..

I had my 1st semester exams during this week. It's damn tiring and frustrating!
But at least I have 76 on biology and 80 on chemical! yeaahh...
I hope my math and the other will go as well as my bio and chem.. (amen!!) Unfortunately, I didn't pass the history and civil. arrggghh...
that old h**!!

anyway...
I went to Bekasi today with Boim, Ziunk and Jorie..let say it's for celebrating our 'freedom' from those suck exams... although we still have remedial for next week.
mwahahahaha... =P
We watched "twilight" at Mega Bekasi. It's so romantic, so sweet and so nice!!! Edward and Bella. They're perfectly meant-to-be.
I wanna my own Edward too... huhuhu
there's no way I could find one. >_<
and then we hang out in MM. Eat this eat that, (actually I barely eat coz I'm on DIET. hahaha!! kidding. I'm no mood for food) buy this buy that... and suddenly all my money gone!!
I spent all my money!! OMG... =X
how should I survive this month?? >_<


we're planning to watch Journet to the Center of The Earth on Tuesday (3D yea!). It'll cost Rp 50.000.. I have to crying nd beg for extra money to my mom.. =X


oh, by the way, I'm officially student of President University now.
But I won't give up!! I'll take the test for University of Indonesia (UI), Bogor University of Agriculture (IPB) and Padjadjaran University (UnPad). I won't surrender till the very end.
I don't want to end up in Lippo Cikarang (again). Spending the 9th years in the same city? And then have to work in this city (again)?? I guess no.


well, I have to brainstorming for yearbook idea. Need helps... *~*