a white lie

diaz come to cikarang.
but he didn't tell me.

I just know it when my housekeeper told me this morning, that yesterday my friend returned my novel.
And I saw the novel "The Kite Runner",
who else borrowed that novel except him?? ==

to be honest,
i really really disappointed to him,
I asked him why he didn't tell me if he was in cikarang and his answer was just "I don't want to disturb you, that's why I give it to my aunt (so she can return it to me)"

hah?
my housekeeper's sister (who accepted my book) said that the person who gave that book is MALE, FAT and BIG. oh yeah, plus she said that my friend COME to my HOUSE.
She didn't said that HE GAVE THE BOOK TO HIS AUNT, and HIS AUNT GAVE IT to MY HOUSEKEEPER'S SISTER (WHO WORKED AT HIS AUNT'S HOUSE) so SHE COULD GIVE IT TO ME!!

Am I over-react or true he lie to me??

The reason WHY I FEEL DISAPPOINTED ON HIM WAS:
1. He didn't tell me, so I can't returned his novels also.
2. He didn't tell me, like what he did to his other friends in spore.
DO HE REALLY THINK THAT I AM HIS FRIEND?? WHY I ALWAYS GET A DISCRIMINATION?? =x
3. HE didn't apologized. Even he didn't reply my message except that one. >_<
gaaaahhhh...


fuh,
I wish he's the one and only my friend who have that kind of attitude.
I can't imagine if I had 3 or more (or LOTS!) friends like him.
I guess I'll commit suicide..
ahahahaha xP

gyaaa....

two days or more maybe, i haven't online from laptop...
the connection is usually very" slow..
I can sleep first while waiting for it.
hahaha


today,
our class had remedial for chemical.
the 'lucky three' which consist of me, stephanie and theo, must do the 'exercise' from Ms. Dyah...

woah,,
I guess I was too cocky, I felt like I can do all easily, but the fact is :
I can do almost nothing.
Yeah, from 3 questions, none of them that I answer with confident. >_<
huhuhu


at nite,
as usual, it's thursday nite, so I go to the tutor with grace.
and she asked me to go passing Riana's house.
She's having her sweet 17th bday party in her house by that time.

I was so embarrassing!!
first, we're not invited.
second, most of the social boys sit outside and saw us!! Even Tyo shouted "hey! u're too late!!"
hwaaa~~
third, Berry smiled at me. His smile is like he were pitying me and feel I was silly in the same time.
Noo!!!! xO
fourth, I dress so simple (of course, I wanna go to the tutor rite, not to d party) and so does with Grace.
She wore d red 'eye-catching' (read as: norak) jacket too!!
aww...

I wanna hide 100m below... >_<

breakdown

It's my bad day.

Three examinations this day.
First was electric study,
second was history,
and the last one was biology.

Nor of them I could do succesfully. T~T
hiks~

Even I asked Diaz for his pray, so I could get good marks.
I dunno if his pray will works or not, but I've did my best.
Although I think it aint my best yet. =X

but it seems there's good side of this 'hardtime' : I kept repeat saying "Ya Allah, Allahu Akbar, Astaghfirullah, Subhanallah, etc"
See, it made me remember who had created me, that I'm just a weak creature of his. =)

I spent almost 100% of my fully energy, so after all finished my body just gotten weaker.
It's like no spirit anymore to live.

I don't like biology.
But if I got into Food Industry, I have to study biology rite?
How about the Chem Engineering??

oh yeah,,
Diaz seems don't agree if I want to get into Chem Engineering.
Coz for him, it's boy's faculty. Too hard for my brainless mind. >_<

So he suggested the medical faculty.
Ha! Ha! Ha!

r u kidding?

there would be lots of malpractice in the future if I be a doctor. =.="

hibernation...

woah,,
I took a nap from 5pm to 2am!!
how long is that??
ahahahaha =P

today we had softball match.
versus the Jr. High School team..
and we won!! ahahahaha ^^

I hit the ball!
Can't believe it, coz Geri (Jr High) always throw fouls ball.
He tried to made me wanna hit those ball nd made strikes 3 times nd out. =.=
I made a 'slide' to the base 1--coz well, d ball is already caught by the opponent--and guess wat, I bumped Badai..
I fell down on his body, followed by his friend (I forgot his name) who also fell down behind me.
hahaha
sorry Badai.. ^^

my knee hurt, so does with my hand..
but my class cheered for me xD
said that I was so cooL.
and I just raised my two thumbs up nd laughed.
hahaha


after d body exercise, we had 'brain exercise'.
Yup, it's chemistry time.. ^^
woohhooo...

Ms. Dyah told us to do the exercise on the text book.
15 numbers but I can't finished all during that 2x45minutes.
still have to learn about 'reduction-oxidation' things.

got a chem practicum tomorrow..
*sigh*
hope I'm not the last who finished.. >.<

17 Agustus Flag Ceremony

Yes,
we have a flag ceremony due to our independence day.
It was good, although there's some mistake in it.
At least it was better than before,
Mr. Kosmas made us rehearsal for the ceremony like in the government palace.

The part I like was when the choir group started to sing "Indonesia Raya" with violin and guitar.
It feels like "Oh-Thanks-God-We've-Free-From-Colonialism-I'm-Proud-To-Be-An-Indonesian"
One of touching moment.
The instrumental touch my heart that I almost cry.

MERDEKAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^


Well, I'm going to take a nap since I slept for 3-4 hours only last night.. =P

Bottom of The Heart (OCean)

too much to tell that I can't say anything.
Too much this heart disappointed even when I knew it would be like this since the first time.
Words can't explain all this emotion..

I guess I'll put some lyric that (maybe) close to what I feel now..

Bottom of The Ocean

miley cyrus

It's been in the past for a while
I get a flash and I smile
Am I crazy
Still miss you, baby
It was real
It was right
But it burned too hot to survive
All that's left is,
All these ashes

Where does the love go
I don't know
When it's all set and done
How could I be losing you forever,
After all the time we spent together
I have to know why I had to lose you
Now you've just become like everything
I'll never find again
At the bottom of the ocean

In a dream, you appear
For a while, you were here
So I keep sleeping,
Just to keep you with me
I'll draw a map,
Connect the dots
With all the memories that I got
What I'm missing,
I'll keep reliving

Where does the love go,
I don't know
When it's all set and done
How could I be losing you forever,
After all the time we spent together

I have to know why I had to lose you
Now you've just become like everything
I'll never find again,
At the bottom of the ocean

(Voice)
This is it
Let go
Breathe

You don't have to love me for me
To baby ever understand
Just know I love the time we both had
And I don't ever want to see you sad
Be happy

And I don't wanna hold you
If you don't wanna tell me you love me babe
Just know I'm gonna have to walk away
I'll be big enough for both of us to say
Be happy

(Voice)
Be happy

long way to browse =X

fuuhh...
internet connection is much slower than usual!!
grr...

it takes a year just to change my profile song on fs!!
ok,
over reaction maybe..
hehehe


anw,
I attended the bbq in Michael's house.
Don't imagine Michael as a handsome boy, coz he's still 4 years old.
And guess what,
when I was joking with my sis, Kiki,
he pulled my left hand and I can't free it!
I struggled and finally I could release my hand...

duh,
wat would people said if they know a soon-going-17-years-old girl defeated by a-naughty-4-years-old-boy ??!
grrr...

o yeah, he took my bracelet too and ran away into his home.
I couldn't chase him of course, since it's not polite to come into people house without permission...
Then I should let my bracelet gone... T~T

But about 10minutes later he came appear again, brought my bracelet, but fear to give it to me.
So he came closer to my sister, and made my sis wear it!!
OMG, he never been so nice to me and now he's nice with my sis!!

huh! >.<


yesterday :

It's the day of Independent Day's competition!!
yeaaahhh~~~

After made some 'case', we came with innocent face, pretending that we know nothing.
hehehe

My class only won one competition.
The eel-estafet game~the animal harassment moment! >.<~ We lose in other game, since xii IPS usually play cheat..
We may lose but we played fair and square =P
hahaha


oh ya, this is our case:
on Thursday night,
Grace invited me to sleep in her house (again).
But this time, Lisa joined us. =)
Her father nd mother were going to Batam, visiting her aunties, so she's free for a week.
The problem is she's taking her dad's car to Grace's house!!!

Her mom was so panicked and called most of her good-friend-neighbours to take Lisa home.
Soon to be, it's going to be a gossip around Tuscany.
hahaha.

Well,
In fact,
She's driving not good.
The machine usually got turned off again and again.
I guess she's nervous.. =X

got to practice more, Lisa! =P

Alhamdulillahi Rabbal Alamiin...

As I've ever said, Diaz passed the test and got into UI =)
This is wat I called 'feeling'.
Since the beginning, when he going to take the test,
I said "Looks like you'll gonna pass this time."
And see..??
He passed it.
Hahaha

Oh yeah,
there's secret : When his test result going to be announcing, if I suddenly felt that I missed him so much, or suddenly felt mellow and sad, then it means he's failed.
I proved it twice or three times =)
So, it's no doubt =P
Hahaha

And this time, seriously, I felt nothing. Felt like I'm okay.
And, tadaa...
He passed it ^^

Congratulation friend! =D
oh yeah,
I was so glad that he have passed the exam as if I were the one who have passed the exam already.
ahahahahaha.
silly me.

It felt like 'i-have-nothing-to-do-left', meanwhile in fact,
I have my own exam in 15minutes later.
Woah,,
totally...

I've only got 78 for my art test. hahaha
*sigh*


enough for monday,
move on to tuesday aka yesterday.

I have sleepover at Grace's house.
Not actually sleepover though, since there's just two of us.
We have private tutor and Grace should stay alone in her house in Cibiru.
She said she was lonely, and afraid, since there's nobody there.

So she asked me to accompany her.
I agreed, and my mom permitted also.
Well then, after the tutor finished,
we back to my house, take my backpack (full of towel, undies, etc + bedcover!!) and then we off to Cibiru xD

In the morning,
I know one thing : we couldn't lived by just the two of us.
Since she love to sleep and so does with me.
ahahahaha

Both of us would never wake up if we can. =P
THat's why we got up late at 6am.

She swept and clean the floor meanwhile I helped her to iron her uniforms.
HUhuhu
Not very tidy though,
I guess I still have to learn and practice :D
still a long way to be a good wife. kyahahahaha~~
In fact, it looks like I'm not ready yet for living alone. =)

huh,
because of the 'morning business', we came to school late.
Thx God it's PE in d morning,
so it wouldn't be trouble =P

Saturday :

I watched movie titled as 'Oh Baby'..
It was a bad, cheapy movie dat I wanna remake that film so it could be nicer.. >_<

Nd yeah,
I accompanied Boim (with Laura nd Annas too) to the photo studio.
It took so long time just to take 5 photos. =X

nd after that,
at nite, my acquaintance named Taufik (fyi, he's worked already!!) wanna gave me a ticket for the 'Syahadat Cinta' movie premiere.
I want!! Seriously I want to watch d movie..

But because there's nobody would drop me to Planet Hollywood, I have to go with him!
OMG,
wat if ppl see us?

Didn't it wrong, go with somebody u never met before, and he's about 6-7years older than u?!?
Oh God,
I was so confused.

Therefore, I waited for Diaz to be online..
Nd asked him for advice nd suggestion..
He said I'd better not risking my safety, so I rejected it. T_T

*thx a lot for diaz, u made me could take decision.* (:

o yeah,
grace got angry with me nd lisa.
She said I am two-faced!!
I explained to her already, I hope she could understand me... =X

today:
I dreamt that my grandma died T_T
I was so sad, but my tears couldn't be dropped.
I felt like I've made to many mistakes to her nd now there's burden on my shoulder..

Allahu Akbar,
it was just a dream.
I promise I will always be nice to her.
Coz even if it doesn't look like I love her, I do love her.
She is my beloved grandma, although she's too old-fashioned or something else..
Well, everybody do have their own bad habit nd also d good ones, rite? =)

Oh yeah,
art test tomorrow nd physics homework!
I have to finish it A.S.A.P!!

Wat I haven't ready is..
FACE THE MATH EXAM ON TUESDAY!!

gyaaa~~~


But I have to be strong,
I can do it.
Have faith on my self =D

fight!! ^^

2 days hiatus

hah,
so much things until i don't know wat i should write here.

ok,,
lots things happened in my 2 days-internet less ..

yesterday:
1. chemical test!!
omg,, the questions r damn difficult.
they're almost different with the example my teacher gave!
I've tried my best to do mine, but apparently I aint calculate d vant hoff factor correctly.. T_T
nd of course, 1 number wrong just becoz of my carelessness. >.<

2. chem 4 hours in a row,
plus private lesson 3 hours!!
I've got lost when I was in d middle of my way to Mr. Wid's home.
I dunno his address! how silly i am... >.<

integral made me crazy! grr...
nd also, plus 2 hours more to study about 'tata negara' (which almost about politic) bcoz tomorrow i'll have exam.

gaaahhh....
tired!!! >.<

3. XL gprs was error!
I can't browse from my hp!
Nd I can't browse too from my laptop!

aaaaaargggggghhhhhh....


today :
ok, did my test already.
i dunno wat score i'll going to have, nd i dun wanna noe either (unless i'll get good mark) hahaha

today, having biology 4 hours also in a row..
tired, tired.

o yeah,,
also...
I saw 'him' online on my ym...
but off on msn.
huh??!
weird isnt it?

is he appear offline to my msn??
or his pc error again?
I dunno, he's not answering when I ask him.
*sob sob*

Freaking Tuesday

oh God,
today we have to read a speech in front of class, with Mr. Beni as the judge (only him and one student who gave speech in class).
Worse than that, he recorded our performance by a handycam!!!

pfff...
he said that he'll show us the recording later.
And it means I'm going die if others see my worst performance.
I called it worst because:
1. I smiled
2. I talked with many mistakes
3. I have standing posture that couldn't be said as good >_<


Ok,
today I helped grace and tania to install their Opera Mini in their hp.
And after that,
they kept gave comment to diaz,
and it made two effects for them :
fight mode for diaz nd grace, nd miss you mode for diaz nd tania.
hahaha

o yeah,
I asked diaz about chemical.
Nd (as usual) he gave a very different answer! =.="
It ends up with Devi (diaz's friend) giving the correct answer (i mean, her answer is more similar with mine than diaz's)

At 6:30 pm,
I went to d private lesson with Grace.
Mr. Widodo ignore us for about 1 hour maybe,
coz he said his brain hasn't connected with the chem lesson yet.. >.<
We should be finished at 8pm, but it ended at 9:30pm!!
woohoo!!!

sorry Mr. Wid! =)

And after the fun (tiring for GRace) private lesson,
we went for dine out.
I said 'dine out' because we ate outside!
hahahaha
We bought 2 fried rice, 2 bottle of 'teh botol' and 2 glasses of mineral water
Damn,
I broke one of the 'teh botol' accidentally! >.<
Should be I paid for the broken bottle,
but the seller said I didn't have to paid for that since the bottle was free

Lucky... ^^
hehehe


Fiiuuhh...
Gotta sleep tight.

Tomorrow is August 6th.
The last war for Diaz,
I hope he can pass this exam.. >.<

Tiring moNday

fuuhh...
this is wat I call 'baka'.
first, I was overslept.
I slept in 7pm nd now I wake up at 11:30pm!!!
and should be I finish my biology task, or practice for my speech tomorrow (for this one, I guess I'll just throw my dignity away for awhile and just read it! nyahahaha~)
and wat I am doing now?
I am online!!
kyahahaha~~

ok,
lots of things i wanna write here.

yesterday :
I was hungry!
totally hungry dat I wanna fainted.
But the food all over d BCP didn't make me wanna eat.
Yes, I knew, they're all delicious.
But the place (it's quite good though..), the situation, the waiter, the live music...
I thought they're all that made me didn't want to eat.
ngahahaha~

at this time,
I wish that he were here.
I guess I'll eat everything he would eat.
kyahaha~~ =P

o yeah,
Tania text me. Said that there's another adam air's plane crash.
damn,
I couldn't text her back.
So I borrowed my mom's hp and text her back, asked the destination of the plane.
Yes, I worried about diaz.
He's having his flight to Jakarta when Tania text me.
Can't I worried my friend? =X

And today, she said that it was a mistake,
there wasn't another plane crash, but it was the plane crash months ago.
And the black box just found now... =.=a

thx God,
Indonesia have lots of trouble now,
we don't need any trouble again. hahaha

today :
The art exam was canceled!!
yippee... ^^
nd my comic finished dy!
long way to made it. But I am satisfied enough with the result... xD

nd after school,
Grace asked me (again) to go to Mr. Widodo's house.
Fortunately, their family is home already! ^^
So we asked him if we could join his private lesson or not.
At first, he talked as if he's totally busy already nd have no time.
But at last, he agreed that we join him.
hahaha

Starting tomorrow,
I hope I can do it well..
nyahahaha~~ =P

comic...

fuuhh..
enough with making manga today..
I'll finished it tomorrow... =)

yup,
I draw manga (doujinshi, actually) about Harvest Moon Back To Nature For Girl,
the story focused in 'how lonely and missing the main character when her beloved one (Kai) left her.
hahaha
This is for Art task..
ckckck

Now I realized that being a mangaka is totally not easy! >.<

Btw,
Papa bought me 'Syahadat Cinta' novel...!!
yeay! ^^
big applause to my dad.. =P
But I haven't read it yet, so I can't tell if it's good or not.

*sigh*
tired.
gotta sleep now... ^^

Moslem Novel, Syahadat Cinta

This book, titled as 'Syahadat Cinta'.
It looks like it have a good story.
I dunno, I haven't read it yet. =X

But there's story about this book I've experienced today.
I walked to the school library,
returned a true story-book and a blog-made book to library.
Then I asked the librarian when will she going to shop for books again.
I asked her if she can buy some Muslim religious novel such as 'Syahadat Cinta'.

And guess wat she said.
"I guess I'm not going to buy that kind of novels. It's about religion rite? I think you should buy it yourself. I guess I'll put novels that have 'only' story (aka teenlit fiction that have no real meaningful moral lessons)."

Wat can I do?
I just smiled and said, "Oh ok. Just ask anyway..."
Muslim in my school are minority.
But some part of my little 'pure heart' couldn't accept this.
I know, Muslim here are minor.
The librarian only afraid that those kind of novels are some kind of wasted.

But wat should we, the muslim minority should read, if there's only crap novels and others' religion novel such as christian, catholic and buddhist?
Ah,
how poor the muslim here... =X

the reason...?

now i know the reason why I missed him so.

Today,
he got the result of his SNMPTN.
SNMPTN is one kind of test that we have to pass if we want to get into university. =)

ok, in a short way,
he failed (again).

Maybe that's the reason why I wish he would called me, or how I wanted to text him (which I didn't do)

He is so strong inside,
I proud to have friend like him.

Don't worry, friend, you'll pass the next test.
I'll prayed and plea to God.
I trust you, you can make it. (:

Ganbatte!
Next year I'll make it too : Pass the SNMPTN (:
I hope so. *giggles* =P

suddenly,
I missed him.
Way too missed, that I wished so many time that he'll call me.
Although I knew, it's impossible.

no,
I didn't like him,
I didn't adore him,
I just think he is my friend,
but I missed him.

Is that wrong? =X

Anw,
this afternoon Grace asked me to go to Mr. Widodo's house.
Mr. Widodo is a private teacher whom we wanted to teach us.
Unfortunately he's still in his hometown due to his father's death.

So Grace asked me to go to Anglo and meet Dhani.
We waited in front of their school for about 15 minutes or more but it feels like a year!!
We looked like two outsiders (and, yes we are! hahaha) who wanted to do something bad with the students there.
Unfortunately, Dhani and Tere couldn't make it to go with us and chat on Grace's house.
They have students' council meeting to discuss some problem.

guess it was not our luck.
Or this was because of me, then it turned to bad day?? =X