First Part of Destiny

this afternoon I took the enrollment test for SGU.
I'm surprised that the english test was made for TOEFL!! not just an ordinary English test.. =="
and more surprised when I saw the Math test.
I forgot all d math formulas, moreover it's 14 number essay with 100 points in total.
haizzz...
the assessment test also a bit helpless...

well, now I'm only pray for the best, pray for what God have decided to be happen.
If it's my destiny that I'm going there then I shall be.
And yes, I pray for God:

IF HE DOESN'T BELONG TO ME, THEN I SHOULD BE SEPARATED FROM HIM. Coz it's gonna hurt if I see him with another girl I don't know. AND IF MY DESTINED MAN IS REALLY HIM, THEN LET ME TAKE THE SAME FACULTY WITH HIM AND MAKE US GETTING CLOSER.
The answer is really only God knows.

Let's play 'what if'..
1. then, what if, what if I don't get accepted in Swiss German University ?
Well, I may pray that I got accepted in UNS or maybe being a doctor in UI or UGM will be my destined career? I donno.
2. What if I got accepted in SGU and UNS ?
amin thx God! if it do happen. xD
well, probably I'll discuss it with my parents which one is best.
3. What if I don't get accepted in neither SGU nor UNS?
well I hope it won't happen though... *amit2*
then I shall focus on SIMAK UI and UTUL UGM.. :)
4. What if I failed in both SIMAK UI and UTUL UGM ?
OMG!! then I shall take college in President University... =X
no God, please~~ T_T


anw, recently, when I saw one of his photos, I thought "wow, he's cute with his new hair!"
and I just can't stop myself from looking on that photo every time I could. then I saw his another photo. He's not handsome. serious.
His body's fat, his leg is as big as a turnip, his hair is a mess. His attitude to me is rude! But that's just the way he is.


I'm afraid that I'm falling in love. No, I don't want to fall for him.
Another guy please, just don't him!
I can't, coz he won't. I noticed that from the beginning he always prevent every single act that's gonna made me flatter..
he never said that I'm beautiful although the others said so. But he always said that I'm smart.
He never scold me, even though I ordered him to do so.
He never said that I'm stupid but by his word I caught his words' meaning said that I'm not beautiful. T_T
He never wants to be with me when there's nobody around. We only met in public place.
He always act uninterested when I said about boys I liked or boys who liked me, but when he told me about his girls, he told me excitedly.
When my friends tease us by saying we're attached or sumthin, he clearly declared that we're just friend. underlined and bold.
Everytime I told him to tell me the truth eventhough it's gonna hurt me. But I know he's not clearly tell ALL the things he wanna say.
Everytime I get sick, he won't pity me. He don't even care. He just said "illness would erase a little of our sins."

that's why, I don't get him. I don't really know what he mean, but all I know is we're just friend.
I can't fall for him unless he fall for me too. (which is a lil bit impossible)
And I know, it isn't time for love.
Exam coming rite up~~ >_<