despair

my mood is awful now.
I'm eagerly wait for the entrance test of Swiss German University to be announced. Herling said her result was out on Friday when she took the test. And her friend was PHONED by the SGU's people.
And me? Received no call, received no email or mail, saw nothing about the previous test I have taken in internet. What could be worst than this ?
I just want to know whether I passed this test or not.

I'm lack of confidence now. seriously.
I'm hopelessly waiting here in despair, speechless in anxiety, and almost breathless everytime I think about the possibility of not getting into SGU.
I never been failed in any entrance exams.

And I don't want this to be my first failure.
Yes, Scorpio nature personality: afraid of rejection.

I want to cry, and scream, and blaming myself if I get the worst to happen.
But I know it just too exaggerating.
I must be strong, whatever it takes.
I learned from someone who have been failed many times. Failure is just a postponed successful. Or maybe it's not my fate I belong in there.
I dunno lah...

See I been deaf, and I been scared,
I been discriminated against and compared,
To you whose my brother, thanks to you I discovered.
There's only one way to go in life and that's be right.

There's only one way to do right, right, right, right,
There's only one way to do right, right, right, right,
See me, I aint always done right, right, right, right,
That's why I'm here to help you fight, fight, to do right.

Cause in life there are decisions to make but it's your choice,
But I chose to walk away, rather than wildin out, and get locked away.
See my friends all chose the fast money, but I chose my Father.
Cause I knew he'd come for me and recover me, already dead.
See what I'm trying to say, is I'm trying to be the best man I can be.
And when I see you too, struggling to do the best you can do.
You may run into a rock, but you can't let it stop what's planned for you,
So make the right choice. [Mario - Do Right]

See?
That's why, let God just decide what's best for me.
Or is there 'somebody' who actually doesn't want me to go college in SGU and prefer me to go to his university ? hahaha
just kidding.
although I would be happy if he really thought so. =)