there so much I want to tell.
It's about everyone. my friends. him. me.
I suffer a terrible migraine recently, everytime I wake up and think about anything, my head ache. It feels like there is smthn push my brain from inside and outside and crash it.
I've been thinking. About Lisa and Boim's love life.
About Diaz and Irma soon-to-be relationship.
About my coming soon enrollment test.
About my potentially rejected application for SGU.
Abut my future.
About my 'too late to be recognized' love.
About my old besties, Damar.
About all my always postponed tasks.
About the preparation for the examination.
And it stressed me out.
Especially when I think there's no way for me to be right beside him. to be his partner in life. to complete each other. when I think like that I feel lonely.
He isn't here for me. He is THERE for her.
Always for another girl and never for me.
Even I never be his bestfriend. Always be his childhood friend.
Ordinary Friend, he always say.
Meanwhile, he isn't just a friend for me. He is one of my bestfriend.
My close friends never be just an ordinary friends. They're special for me in their own unique ways.
I guess that just happen when u've got a lot of friend.
Damar.
He's my bestfriend from Mutiara 17 Agustus elementary school.
It's funny to see how we've been searching each other since we're separated.
He has been searched for me through fs, and so did I. ^^
Finally we met on facebook, although I haven't see his face since I moved.
We've been talking on the phone for 2 days and texted each other also (although it's hard for us, since our messages would reach each other very very late).
He said that I was different from before. He used to think me as a tomboy girl who loved Detective Conan manga. haha
for addition, I usually cry when I fight with him, then he would panicked and apologized to me as quickly as he could, begging me to stop crying so the teacher wouldn't see us fighting. hehe
I recalled that my mother ever told me that he said to my mom he wanted to marry me. Which result in Fani's anger, since Fani adore Damar so much. hahaha
what a cute love triangle. xD
from him, I wish we will have a longtime friendship and will cherish our friendship.
I cherish him and he cherish me. Not like my another male bestfriend. >_<
anw, I lost my motivation to get into FKUI. you noe why.
I donno what to do. Really.
and I don't really want to talk about it.
suddenly my life become complicated. complicated to think about.
I don't understand myself. But I should carry on.
anw, to Lisa and Boim:
you two should talk, alone, without any opinion from others.
talk from heart to heart. discuss what you want.
Boim, is it really you doesn't like her anymore, or it just you who afraid being teased by us?
Are you afraid IF someday things aren't going well and it will be hard for you to make up?
Are you worried if someday Lisa's act will confused u?
Lisa, is he really the one you want?
I'm not blaming you, coz to be honest, for me, the best person to fall in love is your own bestfriend. Coz he would already noe ur good side and bad side. He would accept you the way you are.
Lisa, sometimes love hurts. And sometimes love isn't always have to own people. Love is free. Let just think this as a test for proving your love is true or not.
Anw, I shouldn't talk too much coz I don't really know the whole story. I just see it out of the box.
But really, you two should talk alone. Discuss it.
Jason Mraz says:
"lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where I have been. Lucky to be coming home again..."
I'll be happy if you two get attached each other. But if you two choose not to be, I'll be here for you two whenever you need me. We can continue our friendship till its end. Yes I know we could. =)
by the way, I wonder when is my turn to find my love ? =X
PS: In Suren's dream, he kissed me!! o.O
hahahaha.. Now I remembered that when I first texted Diaz again after he came to Indo, I dreamed that he offered me to taste some food. And he gave it by mouth, into my mouth. Oh My God!! hahahaha
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